After a tragedy, many people experience an intense emotional reaction that may not show up for weeks or months afterward. Mental health clinicians call this reaction post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you have suffered a traumatic loss, you may feel numb immediately afterward. But later, many confusing and debilitating feelings may arise, and you may not link them to the tragic event.
Even if you were not on the scene of the tragedy, you may still be traumatized. You may be terrified it could happen again. You may not be able to sleep by yourself and need to have lights on to chase away the darkness.
If you are experiencing some of the following symptoms, tell your parents and/or school counselor and get help immediately if you have:
Recurring nightmares of the event.
Flashbacks and hallucinations.
Intense anxiety whenever you hear of a similar event.
Avoidance of any feelings or thoughts concerning the tragedy.
Avoidance of any activities or situations that would remind you of the tragedy.
Preoccupation with the tragedy many months after it occurred.
Lack of recall; blank spots in your memory.
A significant decrease in your interest in typical activities at home or school.
Depression combined with increased feelings of sadness, loneliness and hopelessness.
Detachment and withdrawal from your friends and family.
Feelings of “survivor guilt.” Feeling you should have died or perhaps taking chances and doing self-destructive or self-defeating behavior.
Inability to experience emotions, to feel happy or to love someone.
Avoidance of close relationships out of fear that you will be left alone again.
Being overwhelmed with emotions – tense, angry, scared and out of control.
Feeling like you have no future, are unable to date, marry or have a career.
Problems with increased use of alcohol or drugs.
New problems not previously experienced, in falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much.
Irritability or outbursts of anger directed at your family, friends or teachers.
Difficulty in concentrating on things you usually enjoy, such as reading and listening to music.
Easily startled, jumping at any unusual or loud noise.
Physical symptoms include cold sweat, rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath when reminded of the tragedy.
Recurring recollections of the death/trauma that are disrupting your home, school or leisure time.
Keep a journal and record and date your symptoms. You can use it to document and track your most private feelings over time. It is a common part of your grief if you immediately feel any of the above symptoms. But if they persist, do get some guidance. It is of utmost importance to find people you can talk to. Talking about how you feel may help you feel better. Talk about what you saw, what you heard, what you smelled and what you feared. Don’t hide your feelings; they may come back later and be more difficult.
Here are some other things you can do to help yourself:
Talk about the event as much as possible and urge your friends to do the same. Ask a trusted adult or school leader to set up informal talk groups. Every time you go over the event, it loses some power and its hold on you.
Have patience with yourself; healing may take a long time.
Learn to meditate, lose yourself in music, take walks and visit a peaceful place like a park.
Take care of your physical needs. Eat healthy foods, keep up with your exercise program and get enough rest.
Stay involved with your family, friends and school. Keep up a regular schedule and stick to old routines as best as possible.
Have patience with your parents; they are not going to let you out of their sight. Time will help them relax their need to control.
